NOT Broken, just bruised!!

 After an entire weekend of weary, work, and worry, I had my follow up to get the results of my neurocognitive test today. I literally picked my fingers apart all weekend not knowing what to expect. I dissected each and every test I took trying to anticipate just how demented I've become and how we were going to get by without my income. I had myself convinced that the news was going to be bad and it would be matter of time before I would be expected to hang up my duty belt and move on to using tennis balls to erase scuff marks from Wal-Mart's floors.

As 1pm rolled closer, I became more anxious. I worked a TON of hours- the test was Thursday morning. I worked Thurs-Sunday nights, got off late this morning and only got a nap before I had to log in for our "talk". I woke up feeling cognitively defunct. I couldn't remember how to check my email to find out how to log in to talk to him. I was too tired to turn off my alarm, but I had to get up because he was expecting me. I staggered to the kitchen and struggled with the buttons on the microwave as I prepared a frozen breakfast sandwich, hoping something to eat would clear some brain cells.

1pm= time to log in.. he's not there.. I wait for this man who I think must run on Overman time.. He checks online with his typical cheery self and instantly puts me at ease. He's good at that. I'm thankful. He starts to talk about the test and jokes with me about how well, or how poorly we both think I did. It's all about my perception- I guess.

So, in the end, I scored above average to average in most categories compared to my age and education level... WHAT?? He said I'm very intelligent and VERY capable. NO sign of cognitive decline other than fatigue. There were some "asterisks" to discuss... I scored lower in a few areas that surprised him, like name things that start with the letter "F"- GO! I start off strong for about 15 seconds and die. I do awful in that area... But most every other area, I excel. Some areas, I scored in the 90 plus percentile compared to other Masters educated! WHAT?

Sooo, where are we? He said I'm fatigued. I push myself too much, and between my medical issues, my schedule, and my stress, my brain is tired. We need to work on how to allow myself time to heal. But there is NO sign of any pathological disease that will take me out any time soon. NO stroke- NO dementia- NO alzheimers- NO WORRIES! 

Now for the heart- got the results of the halter today, and this one is a bit more hazy.. I understand some of it but I don't know if it's anything to worry about.

Average heart rate was 68bpm. Occasional superventricular ectopy (SVE/PACs); transient atrial runs occurred; longest lasting 7.8 secs with avg rate 139bpm. Rare isolated ventricular ectopy (VE/PVCs) No SVT; No Ventricular tach, 2nd or 3rd HB; No A-fib; no pauses noted for 3secs or longer... 

I see the cardiologist next week... doesn't *sound* bad. 

We'll count the blessings!! GO GOD!!